Night

  Recently after a rough period I decided to quit drinking kava but I found myself after getting past the initial withdrawls just going back to yohimbine in coffee. I feel these these things like much else in my life are in perfect alignment with the path I must go especially such events leading up to an explosive end to my time with the root and back into the wild currents of yohimbine pumping through my veins. I don't know where any of this leads exactly but I've come to the current conclusion that the meaning of life is to personally clear through experience all you can and feel thoroughly throughout the entire process. There doesn't need to be pain forced where it shouldn't be if it's not in alignment with what you want for yourself just as being say as healthy as you possibly came as fast as possible isn't either. Even balance is not key, it's a personal ride with many connections feeding information into its gears to function. Movement is acceptance of yourself as you feel and integrating love in whatever form it comes as into your flow that doesn't need to be a specific. What makes this such a difficult concept for humanity to wrap itself around is that it is no extreme but has a possibility to be one, the neutrality of love is so foreign and absurd that from a distance it looks like chaos but eventually something more beautiful and functional arises even from a world of conflict if it means for us multiple lifetimes worth of time and contradiction. But source is not cruel, this is what our function within it and between each other has brought us and that's where it both ends and begins. To experience peace would be to be in connection from the outside of these cycles but this was never the goal even though anyone you meet desires such a state of being, we here to experience and build source's neurological system so that it continually has new paths to explore itself physically divided and psychically connected. Soul is always at rest, it will take care of the rest as it's direct connection over the trickle down experience of consciousness.