Night

  From various things in my life currently this Summer has been off to a rough  and confusing start, leaving me with not much grounding to give me a sense of balance as I find a new one to go off. Thinking back to Winter though I'm not much of a fan of it's freezing wind and despise any more snow than a dusting of it, how still and quiet it gave me access to a mental space overlapping the world around me where despite the absence of much pleasure and the warmth of the sun on my skin outside as I collected the daily cans and bottles had a constant gentle flow. At the time being a heavy kava drinker, I was under a constant embrace of stillness from that but I've felt this independent of any addiction I've ever had or progress I had towards anything at the time. I figure that's where I want to get back to more consistently to give me more grounded vision than the strobe light effect of daily life of whole pots of coffee a day and multiple pills of yohimbine mixed with the confusion of sudden change and uncertainty. But I also know I want to learn to fly though and life in the slow lane was never my thing despite appearing cold and calculating to myself more often than I'd like to be when it comes to keeping a constant flow of money coming in that'll never fully sustain me anyways.The best course of action I have is to keep moving into this unknown territory and let it mold me in hopes that I can find something else worth while to integrate the current of my actions into that'll allow a more gentle exit later.  

Day

  One of the things that brings me the most joy even in the most mundane points of my life is the scenes around me and the ability to isolate them out of context to connect them to another. Without this there would be a lack of connection and a lack of inspiration to keep moving. This subconscious net is what brings together all aspects of my life through the senses. To some extent this is a further integration of the collective unconscious creation through action. To feel this and look at anything in my field of view and take it as face value seems to be very nearly impossible much like you wouldn't be able to stop a video just by looking at it and desiring to. This makes me wonder more so what our function in this data pulling is and what path we should take to make sure we maximize its nature and use it for everyone's good because clearly we have more ability to mold through energetic and subconscious output the world around us in ways science currently doesn't entirely acknowledge or denies is a possibility. If I can tie a grocery store to street corner and delete a cloud from the sky what else can be done? Where is the limit and defines that? There is no other way to go but with technology into where direct subconscious influence over our environment to make changes is. It's time the physical gets fully integrated into it's upper connections with more interaction and intent.

Day

  As I was taking photos outside and decided to attempt to take some of birds I noticed that subconsciously they acted as a center piece in the environment I was taking a picture of enhancing the rest of what was there in the photo. Without these creatures these scenes would otherwise have not been taken. I then upon observing this quickly realized they had the same effect through my vision too. I thought about it more and I believe these creatures have more function than we collectively think they do in an environment. They give the outer environment structure and turn empty spaces into a new home with their presence. They are an indicator of the overall health of an area when it comes to energetic balance. The more centered, the more life. A clear indicator of something that is currently destroying this is when after a test of a 5G network over an area the birds were the first creatures to get ill and run for cover. If we want to thrive as a species we need to start paying more attention to birds as part of the messaging system that was given to us and use it to measure what we should be doing to maintain a more energetically healthy environment. The entire division between the biological and the unconscious aspects of the environment we live needs to be merged under a new a foundation in line with truth rather than the skewed in many respects science made by man with the involvement of any drive other than benefit of our species and coexistence with what is different than us in ways we can't completely understand yet. Division was always the enemy, comes in many attractive forms, and birds are part of our ancient measure of both the destruction caused by division more distantly and first disturbances in the energetic fields we live in that are harming the weel being of all life under its influence.

Day

  I often find as time goes by that I just keep going back into previous cycles but with new ways to navigate their perspectives more efficiently coming to more open ended outcomes into other places within the data these cycles contain. The passage of experience is able to unlock them given there is still a base for them otherwise you will go somewhere else entirely. This uncertain path though you will learn a lot if there are experience feedback loops left unresolved will act as a chain to the ghost of those cycles. It's important to not reckless when it comes to change and be gentle. These bases to me are something in disconnect from ourselves personally but a standard location that consciousness can live with peacefully and move through the contained data fluidly of course leading to more positive outcomes and more sub locations that are made available. All things felt are as valid as any other but suffering is not always movement. To drag yourself into darkness just to feel it's curses while like all else will teach you something doesn't always lead upwards again easily where the infinite is more accessible. This in itself from this elevation can present its own challenges though in discerning what should be done. Even such a downfall from far enough away can be quite attractive without vividly considering the limitations that will constrict your body and psyche. Balance is the key but some structure to your life is extremely beneficial. Finding peace at a glance with open eyes can seem like total contradiction because how much content and variations of such can be included but looking even closer anyone will see that it's only something close to this there is no term I can come up with.

Night

  Recently after a rough period I decided to quit drinking kava but I found myself after getting past the initial withdrawls just going back to yohimbine in coffee. I feel these these things like much else in my life are in perfect alignment with the path I must go especially such events leading up to an explosive end to my time with the root and back into the wild currents of yohimbine pumping through my veins. I don't know where any of this leads exactly but I've come to the current conclusion that the meaning of life is to personally clear through experience all you can and feel thoroughly throughout the entire process. There doesn't need to be pain forced where it shouldn't be if it's not in alignment with what you want for yourself just as being say as healthy as you possibly came as fast as possible isn't either. Even balance is not key, it's a personal ride with many connections feeding information into its gears to function. Movement is acceptance of yourself as you feel and integrating love in whatever form it comes as into your flow that doesn't need to be a specific. What makes this such a difficult concept for humanity to wrap itself around is that it is no extreme but has a possibility to be one, the neutrality of love is so foreign and absurd that from a distance it looks like chaos but eventually something more beautiful and functional arises even from a world of conflict if it means for us multiple lifetimes worth of time and contradiction. But source is not cruel, this is what our function within it and between each other has brought us and that's where it both ends and begins. To experience peace would be to be in connection from the outside of these cycles but this was never the goal even though anyone you meet desires such a state of being, we here to experience and build source's neurological system so that it continually has new paths to explore itself physically divided and psychically connected. Soul is always at rest, it will take care of the rest as it's direct connection over the trickle down experience of consciousness.