Night

  I would like to think that I strive for abundance in such a traditional sense where there is an abundance of material things and the most indulgent of foods to eat at any given moment. But in striving to feel the most lucid throughout my life I often find a flavor of deprivation of the body with only offers a window into continuation with more open senses unclouded by total indulgence fully chained to the physical. It came back to me recently in struggle for my comfort as it did in the past when I only desired the novelty of many things indulged on. Novelty and indulgence was nothing more than a rest stop before returning to the border of what I needed to feel alive and open to the currents of energies and full spectrum of emotion available. An eternal state of active rest where whether I'm waiting for something or I'm surfing the internet through the eyes of my own neural network. Life is felt at a constant and death is the only undercurrent. Suffering is over consumption without value and hardwired connections. I exist only when passing through for however long it takes but fail to when I stay. If it allows passing it allows tranquility.