Night

  I would like to think that I strive for abundance in such a traditional sense where there is an abundance of material things and the most indulgent of foods to eat at any given moment. But in striving to feel the most lucid throughout my life I often find a flavor of deprivation of the body with only offers a window into continuation with more open senses unclouded by total indulgence fully chained to the physical. It came back to me recently in struggle for my comfort as it did in the past when I only desired the novelty of many things indulged on. Novelty and indulgence was nothing more than a rest stop before returning to the border of what I needed to feel alive and open to the currents of energies and full spectrum of emotion available. An eternal state of active rest where whether I'm waiting for something or I'm surfing the internet through the eyes of my own neural network. Life is felt at a constant and death is the only undercurrent. Suffering is over consumption without value and hardwired connections. I exist only when passing through for however long it takes but fail to when I stay. If it allows passing it allows tranquility.

Night

  Everywhere I go on a Summer day seems to be punctuated with what would be considered unpleasant scents or on that border that on another note are the strongest connected to good places in my mind. The weird scent out of the back of an air conditioner, a specific flavor of what could be coming from a dumpster near by, or the scent of cheap breakfast and fried food in the air from a local Chinese take out joint. These odd smells are nothing like a typical holiday candle but the these most mundane and occasionally offensive to some scents are what we to a large extent map our experience in this world by. There is often an undercurrent of the desire for luxury and fine dining but these novelties fade fast. Once the curiosity is blown these experiences are often empty, void of personality and alien much like for example on the other front of the style of modern homes with white sinks, white tiles, and silver toned fixtures. There's a desire to experience after only a middle ground with all senses included as they are. What is obsessed with clean professionalism and rigid standards is often miserable but the traditional and average is far more enjoyable to an infinite extent due to the sensory connections flexibility. This does not mean that there is often a desire to live in filth though for many, the key point is integration. Exclusion leads to error but integration has solutions with flexibility. I could from my own experience say that flexibility is the answer if given direction.

Day

  This morning after breakfast I was drinking my coffee and blowing through hands on video poker as I was doing other things online in an attempt to by chance get up on the leaderboards and actually get the cash prize. In a moment of awareness of the mechanical action of what I was doing and the way I was viewing life at the time as just numbers and processes with various connections between them. There is an underlying current of zen and it's associations in process and progress without an end goal or knowing it will all come tumbling down anyways. Meditations on wealth manifestation to that lucky decorative art on the wall of some Chinese take out shop that at first don't seem to be in connection at all. These things of high value may come and in different ways depending on what you value in accumulation throughout your life and the experience is less stressful as long as you're aware and experience from within these processes. To leave them is to just leave these processes and move on to others within the human realm or otherwise. Here is where I think you can find some peace if you find a flow for yourself in them that allows continual integration without negativity that generate large amounts of positive outcomes. Eventually you find new ways within these systems to get more out of them and go deeper into them in your experience as a human. This is all it is and ever was here, to feel and integrate is enough. To stop would be to disconnect which in itself would not be negative in itself and will occur anyways. Another aspect to take notice of is that to reach such a peaceful active state requires awareness of it but without fear. It's up to the individual what they want to do  but no matter what the situation is there must be an active flow of information gained from experience through both flesh and soul and efficiency is often awarded with security.